Alive
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: 'I just want to sleep' he said, yanking back Mello's covers and sliding into the bed, giving the blond no time to protest.He felt Mello stiffen the second the covers were fully back in place;Matt hadn't forgotten how Mello liked to sleep. MM


**Disclaimer: **I dont own Death Note

**Suggested Listening**: Alive **by** Good Charlotte

_~Alive~_

Leaning forward he peered at the object before him, eyes narrowed and head tilted in confusion.

How the hell had the heater _overheated_?

Just how old was that piece of crap anyway?

He kicked it, just for the hell of it, to see if it would fix the problem. But unlike in the old days when doing things like whacking the television corrected the problem, nothing happened other than an angry sputter and water leaking out the side.

The heater was definitely not going to be fixed by hitting or kicking it, and he was certain that neither him nor Mello knew how to mend it.

"Isn't this wonderful?" Matt muttered into the silence.

It was already cold in the apartment and the weather called for a heavy snow storm that night. Mello was not going to be happy. Then again, if it hadn't been the heater the blond would have found something else to be pissed off at, but Matt supposed that was part of his charm.

Matt sighed, straightening up and moving away from the window to light a cigarette. They really should have moved out of there already. It had been almost a year since the Kira case had ended and yet they hadn't left that crappy apartment with the temperamental heater and cracked counters or broken locks.

It didn't make much sense to stay there, and yet there was never any talk of leaving. Matt didn't understand it. He wouldn't miss the place if they moved, it was Mello that made anywhere they lived feel like home. It sounded stupid, and a bit sappy, but Matt had known the blond for years and no place ever felt quite right without him.

Matt wondered what Mello would say about the state of the place once he got back, from buying who knew what at the store, and winced. He definitely wouldn't be happy. Not to mention leather wasn't exactly the best clothing for cold weather, in or out of the apartment.

Matt eventually moved from his position, stopping to frown once at the broken heater, and snatched a blanket to wrap around himself as he walked through to the kitchen. Mello might not be so inclined to flip out if something warm and chocolaty was offered to him when he got in.

Though Matt had originally just wanted coffee, so the effort was purely selfish to begin with.

Matt spent the time waiting wrapped in the blanket and smoking a cigarette, lent against the counter where he couldn't feel the sharp edges digging into him thanks to all the layers.

Matt had just poured the hot cocoa into a cup, his coffee having been done minutes before, when the door was shoved open.

Matt knew it was Mello from the small curses and huff of annoyance. He hurried to the door with the drink and almost smirked at the sight of Mello bogged down with bags of groceries, but it would have been counterproductive to him not getting yelled at.

Instead he relieved the blond of half the bags, replacing them with the liquid chocolate drink, and took the last of the groceries with his now freed hand. Matt entered the small kitchenette, leaving Mello blinking and standing in the doorway.

"Thanks...?" Mello mumbled, though Matt could hear the question in his voice. He supposed he had it coming as he wasn't generally motivated to do things like that, not even for Mello.

Matt dumped the bags onto the counter, watching in amusement as a small fragment dislodged and fell to the floor. They really needed to move to a better place. Mello was looking at him expectantly as he glanced up so Matt shrugged.

"The heater is broken." straight to the point. And yet he watched in quiet dismay as the gloved fingers clenched around the cup of hot chocolate dangerously. He seriously believed that poor cup was going to be thrown against the wall but after a moment all Mello did was sigh heavily and leave the kitchen, the apartment door slamming shut afterwards.

Matt peeked his head around the corner curiously and watched as Mello sank into the leather couch and kicked off his boots looking contrite, though Matt could tell he was cooling off already.

"Why haven't we moved yet?" Mello asked as he blew on the drink before taking an experimental sip.

That's what I'd like to know, Matt thought but knew better than to voice it. Shaking his head a little, he straightened up and left Mello to relax as he put everything away. He couldn't complain; Mello was the one that had gone shopping.

It was only later, as Matt watched Mello watch the frenzy of snow falling outside of their window, that he realized Mello had intended for him to make something with the food he'd bought.

How thoughtful of him.

Matt sighed as he noticed Mello's small smirk when he stood up and headed for the kitchen. Manipulative bastard. But Matt wasn't all that put off about it, it meant he would get to be in the kitchen, and when the oven or stove was on it warmed up.

Take that Mello.

He didn't make anything complicated, just microwave thawed chicken with an Italian seasoning. Though it did need to be monitored as the oven was a bit temperamental and either cooked it too fast or didn't heat up at all.

It was done in twenty minutes.

"Geeze Matt what the hell did you do to this? It's completely dry in the middle." Mello complained, stabbing the chicken with a fork after having cut into it, the smell from the kitchen alerting him to it being done.

"Thank the oven for that. Potatoes are in the microwave." Matt commented, pouring ketchup over the chicken, because really, that much salt in a condiment would kill any flavor good or bad.

There was no conversation, idle or otherwise, during the duration of the meal, but there usually wasn't; Mello disliked his meal being disrupted by anything. Matt didn't mind though, talking usually meant the meal wasn't all that edible.

"I'm taking a shower now so don't use the water." Mello commented, walking passed Matt and into the bathroom. Ah, the water. The one and only time Matt had washed the dishes while Mello had been in the shower had ended in a shouting match. It was hardly Matt's fault that you couldn't do both without the water going ice cold; the apartment really was crap.

He hadn't wanted to wash the dishes anyway.

Lighting a cigarette, knowing he would probably be yelled at for it, he covered himself with the blanket and sat on the couch to play Halo on the Xbox. He couldn't remember what version of the game he had, but knew it was one of the newer ones.

His character had just ducked behind a corner, bullets pelting the ground by his feet, when a hand plucking the cigarette from his lips startled him. Mello glared down at him, eyes narrowed though he didn't say anything.

"Its freezing in here, do you really want me smoking out there?" Matt complained, actually pausing the game. Mello's lips thinned as he pressed them together tightly, expression going blank before he held the cigarette back out.

Matt grinned and took it.

"I'm going to watch tv and sleep. Turn that down." Mello told him, though not unkindly. Matt did as told though, least Mello rethink letting him smoke in the apartment. He watched Mello's door close and wished the blond had stayed out there, though he didn't really like half of what Mello watched.

He had no idea for how long he played, though the howling of the wind and the snow beating on the windows suggested it had been a while. He felt cold creep along his spine again and sighed as his fingers slipped on the buttons of the controller; they ached and were numb to the point where it was difficult to play.

He wasn't really tired, but he was freezing just sitting there. With an inward sigh he shut everything off and crept to his room as quietly as possible in case Mello was asleep. He tossed the extra blanket atop his covers and got into bed, which was about as pleasant as an ice bath.

Even with the covers it was barely warm enough. Matt wondered what a warm body next to his own would feel like. Namely Mello... the idea passing though his head was insane, but the more he tried to ignore it the more it infected his thoughts. Just sleeping next to him wouldn't seem too odd, as they had occasionally done so at Wammys for one reason or another.

With a groan Matt shoved his head under a pillow and tried to sleep, though the probability of that happening was slim.

.

Matt shifted to the other side of the bed, but thought better of it when he was met with a cold spot. With a sigh he stayed on his back and tried to get comfortable under the covers, but it was already the fifth time and he was getting frustrated.

And he doubted he was the only one.

It was just so damn cold in the apartment without the heat that it seemed impossible to get to sleep; Matt just couldn't seem to get warm, and he knew how to possibly fix the problem, he just didn't know if he could bring himself to actually try it.

But as the clock struck four-thirty am he gave up and quickly climbed from the bed and padded across the cold floor and into the hallway, hesitating only for a second outside of Mello's door before pushing it open; the knob long ago having fallen off from the constant slamming.

He didn't even attempt to be silent, knowing Mello would have heard him regardless, not to mention Matt was hardly ever in there and navigating was impossible in the dark without bumping into something.

"Matt, what do you want?" Mello asked tiredly, though it didn't sound as though he had been sleeping. Matt almost smiled; he wasn't the only one freezing and uncomfortable it seemed.

"I just want to sleep." he commented, yanking back Mello's covers and sliding into the bed, giving the blond no time to protest. He felt Mello stiffen the second the covers were fully back in place, Matt sliding closer to the heat Mello's skin gave off.

Matt hadn't forgotten that Mello liked to sleep naked.

He curled up next to Mello, feeling from the small patches where their skin touched just how cold the other had been on his own.

Matt hadn't realized how fast his heart was beating until it sounded in his ears and he forced himself to calm down. He was just going to sleep next to the blond... who was naked... who he happened to possibly like more than a friend ever should ever be allowed to...

Matt knew it was potentially a horrible idea, especially Mello being so absolutely silent and almost completely rigid beside him, but he couldn't just let the opportunity pass by. He hesitantly, knowing full it could very badly, brought his hand to lay across Mello's chest; he felt Mello's body tremble at the action, whether out of shock or something else he didn't know.

"Matt... what are you doing?" Mello's voice was quiet but not harsh as Matt moved his hand lower and Matt thought he was lucky not to have that hand cut off yet. Matt wished he was as confident as he must appear.

"I'm warming you up, you feel like death warmed over." he let his fingers stroke the smooth skin and forced himself to breathe when he realized Mello hadn't done anything yet, pushing him away or otherwise.

Feeling a little bolder Matt shifted so that whilst still under the covers he straddled Mello, watching as Mello's expression flickered with uncertainty; the finer lines of his features being lost in the feint moonlight. That uncertainty could have been for any number of reasons. But if Matt knew the blond, and he thought that after nearly fifteen years he did, he knew it was the thought of intimacy, of any kind, with a _friend._

But really, they hadn't been friends for years, just dancing around the same things over and over.

They couldn't seem to live without the other, neither of them dated, and the numerous other small gestures that wouldn't happen with normal friends. It could have been just a rather deep bond, but Matt hoped that it might be something more.

"Mello... Mihael..." Matt tried to speak, mouth opening and closing for a moment but he couldn't seem to get the words to form and instead dipped his head down to kiss Mello, hoping to convey everything that his words couldn't.

His fingers brushed against Mello's chin and Matt watched as something changed in Mello's gaze; the kiss becoming hotter as Mello forced his tongue into Matt's mouth.

Mello's fingers went into Matt's hair to tug him closer, forcing there to be no space between them. Matt coveted the feeling of that warm body beneath him, moving against him and those lips on his. It was so much better than anything his dreams had ever come up with.

Matt let himself go, completely uncaring to the world around him and lost himself in the kiss. Matt wasn't sure what the potential consequences might be in their doing this, what might change, and he didn't care. Mello had kissed him back.

It hardly took a second, an abrupt shift in the atmosphere, and Matt was suddenly beneath the blond; a hand pressing into his hip and the other still fisted in his hair. Matt felt as though he were on fire, Mello's skin so hot against his and the air beneath the covers getting warmer and warmer.

Mello forced their lips apart and stared at him intensely. "What the fuck-"

The blond licked at Matt's bottom lip, briefly running it along the inside.

"-took you so long?"

Mello didn't let him answer though, instead he ran his fingers underneath the redheads boxers and Matt felt the tug on them as Mello's fingers hooked on the material, seeking to remove it. Matt had no objections, he wanted to feel Mello against all of him as quickly as possible.

He lifted his hips and shivered at the feeling of the fabric sliding away. He was filled with excitement as Mello covered him again, skin against skin. Matt parted his legs, letting Mello fall between them, their growing erections grinding together blissfully.

Mello paused though, an oddly predatory gleam in his eyes as he leaned in.

"Mello-"

"I want you Mail; God how I want you." Mello breathed by his ear, thrusting against him and making Matt ache in a way he hadn't for a very long time, a want so strong it literally had him arching into the blond from the thought alone.

Matt didn't speak, instead letting his hands roam across the body above him, along the blonds back and down to his backside, pressing into the skin and squeezing in areas he never would have dared to before.

Mello nipped at his neck in response and mumbled something about lube, before he abruptly pulled away. Matt mourned the loss of contact despite knowing it would be back soon enough.

Something was knocked off the bedside table, probably the lamp, as Mello's elbow dug uncomfortably into him as the blond leaned across the bed but Matt didn't say a word, not wanting to end any remaining touch they had, still not quite believing he hadn't fallen asleep and all of this wasn't one of his more elaborate dreams.

"Fucking piece of- get in my grasp!"

Matt bit his lip, mouth fighting not to release a small laugh. Only Mello would have trouble grabbing the lube at such a moment. He released a breath as the pressure on his abdomen faded, Mello having sat back to coat his fingers with the procured bottles liquid.

Matt didn't care who 'topped', instinctively knowing Mello wouldn't submit at the moment but perhaps later on down the line, he just wanted to feel the other in any way possible; to make everything _real_.

Mello wasted little time in prepping him, fingers gently shoved inside of him as Mello kissed along his jaw and murmured unintelligible but soothing sounding words when things became uncomfortable.

It was hardly Matt's first time, but he hadn't bottomed in so long it might as well have been.

Every feeling was so sharp and stinging in its clarity that it was almost overwhelming, something that was odd as sex had always been almost dull to Matt.

But sex with Mello was nothing like Matt had ever experienced with anyone before; everything was a contradiction. Powerful thrusts followed with almost shy kisses, a rough nip from Mello's teeth followed by soothing caresses by his fingertips; the harsh snaps of Mello's hips against him followed by gut wrenching pleasure.

Matt had never felt so alive as he was with Mello in that moment, both of them moving in tandem to a silent and unspoken rhythm.

He supposed one could say that his feelings for the blond heightened the experience, made it better than with some random person he'd picked up for the night; but it was more than knowing that Mello was finally his, it was knowing that Mello was his and that Mello _wanted_ to be his.

And when Mello released inside him Matt was hardly ashamed to admit that hearing Mello's low but sensual groan did him in, his own orgasm ripping through him hardly a minute afterwards.

Matt squeezed his eyes tight as the world closed down and he became lost in pleasure, something so euphoric that no words could really adequately describe it.

Mello's breathing was hot and harsh against his cheek afterwards and Matt's skull tingled in the area Mello had fisted his hair, but all those things were afterthoughts as he slowly came down from his high enough to focus in on the blue eyes that stared down at him.

He gave a wide smile and watched Mello's expression morph into something he would call calm, or maybe satisfied. Matt was given a quick peck to the lips before Mello rolled off of him, though he didn't go further away than lying next to him.

Matt propped himself on an elbow, turning to the blond and unsure of what to say. "Mello-"

"Don't you dare say any of that after sex mushy crap. We aren't in a romance novel." Mello grumbled, tugging Matt onto his chest, both being buried deep under the covers and warm almost to the point of burning.

Matt smiled though, as one of Mello's hands went in his hair and another around his waist. His smirk widened as Mello whispered 'love you' despite his earlier complaint at 'mushy crap'. But that was how Mello always was.

Contradictory.

And Matt doubted that would ever change. Not that he wanted it to.

"Goodnight Mello." he mumbled, sleep finally tugging at his body now that he was warm and spent. Mello kissed his forehead in response and Matt figured that he really ought to thank the heater for crapping out on them... maybe later though, after he'd had some sleep.

And more of Mello's kisses.

Yeah, that sounded good.

-End-

**AN**: Happy realyyyyyyyyyyyyy belated birthday Living in a fantasy XD. I'm like week late in editing this and more in writing this, oh well. XD

review?


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